26 YEARS

"After 4 years, it is painful for me."

She said that with with a smile. 

Her white cheek turned red. 

"But it's thousand time bearable than the 26 years of hers"

Tears fell from her warm cheek.

'Yes' it should be painful. It is.'

I could say no word. 

No word of comfort. 

My hands moved and rubbed her shoulder hoping that I could comfort her.

"But at least she have all of you."

That hit me like a bullet.

'Will my presence make any difference?'

'Could I wipe away all her tears?'

'Brighten her dark night?'

'Put a smile on her face on these very tearful days?'

'And probably lessen her burden?'

All these questions struck me.

Did I do enough for her?

kearah cahaya itu

"Destination" by dahuq95

Sampai kapan harus aku menanti

sesuatu yang jauh

dan makin menjauh

angan angan yang tiada rasionalnya

tidak kelihatan nyatanya pada mata hati

jauh sekali pada mata kasar

Terlalu jauh telah ku pergi

cahaya itu tidak lagi dapat aku lihat

kerna pelarian ini terlalu lama

menjauh dari fitrah jiwa ini

Bukan mauku untuk menjadi pelarian

namun jiwa pemberontak ini

tidak dapat aku hambakan

pemberontakan yang tiada henti itu

terlalu liat

Bila akan ku mula berjalan

kehadapan

kearah rasionalisme

juga taakulan

kenyataan yang semua tahu

kepastian yang menanti 

bukan hanya angan angan musim panas

fatamorgana yang memberi harapan hampa

namun ini adalah 

cinta Dia yang tiada baginya erti kepiluan

kerna yang ada hanya kemanisan 

yang membawa ketenangan jiwa

serta sentuhan yang memberi 

seribu senyuman dikala duka 

tawa tika senangku

Cahaya itu akan tetap di situ 

sungguhpun nanti matahari terbit dari barat

bintang yang datang menerpa

dan dihancur segala gunung serta cakerawala

Kerna Engkau 

hanya Engkau yang kekal

tika semuanya telah tiada

identity

'tears of a soften heart' by dahuq95

Now

I just wanna close my eye

Forgetting about this world for a second

Just for a second

To forget the past

And also the future that is hunting me

Pulling me down.

Just let me close my eyes

Let my mind go free

Let this so-called identity fade

Leave me alone with amnesia

Let it do its job

Cause I can't think no more

.

My identity is my cloth

My past define me

My future saves me

Just if

If I take off my old cloth 

And put on a new identity

Brush off my past 

Drawing out a new future..

Will you treat me better?

Will he be okay?

I'll be yours. :)

Friends. Just the word itself is tempting. I want to make more of them. I want the whole world to be mine. My friend. We may not be of the same color but it doesn't matter 'cause 'Hi' is all that it take to start one

.
     My legs keep walking. Walk all over this land of His. Dancing and twirling around to find you. Another friend of mine. Wishing you are walking too. Wishing we will meet on our way to the paradise of His.

     Smile is my clothe, my accessories now. It was always his too. I hope my smile will make your day as his had made others. How his smile melts the hard rock hearts, cleared the path, brighten the dark, moisten the dry eyes. How his smile change the heart of the haters. Your smile spoke for thousand words. Just your smile was enough, so beautiful that no word was able to describe its beauty.

     My arms are open wide for you. Hoping that they will give you the warmth that you needed. The comfort you're finding for.
   
     There's one thing that I learnt out of friends, out of making more friends.
They say one good friend is enough but for me, friends are never enough. Seeing new faces is what making me who I am. It is what learning is all about. The differences are what completing us. Making us One.

Thanks for being one of mine. :)

Now

Perception.

We almost forget everything that we did.

Perhaps life is just too short for us.

To even remember what just happened.

A second ago.

I thought I was fine.

Now I'm lying down.

Helpless. Breathless.

Paralyze trying to flash back what just happened.

But nothing.

Nothing is all I see.

Memory is gone.

Appear to me as if I'm living in a new life.

A new born baby.

Just that I have been here before.

Life is too short as this breath that I take.

Now we are here.

Inhale later, I'm gone.

Taken from my head.

My soul is out free.

Free from this humanly insane desires.

Lust for what is wrong.

Hate for what is right.

Ungrateful for what is given.

Ask for more and end up missing the first.

Life is what now is.

Tomorrow is never promised.

But death is awaiting.

Promise that never will be broken.

Just keep going and don't let the past nor the future hunt you down cause He got your back.

Always and forever.

where my future holds.

Every step taken leads me to a place,

   A place where the future holds.

Every breath taken leads me to a place,

   A place where I become a human.

Every sweat falls leads me to a place,

   A place where I see a sea of opportunity.

Every blessing earn leads me to a place, 

   A place where I learn to be grateful. 

Every thing I fed on leads me to a place,

   A place where the flash of tomorrow grows.

Every thing that I hear leads me to a place,

   A place where builds this tranquility.

Every picture that I see leads me to a place,

   A place where my memory built. 

Every doing of mine leads me to a place,

   A place where my heart is built. 

Every thing of today leads me to a place,

   A place called tomorrow.

Every thing we do today builds our future. 

Every choice is in our hand.

That leads us to a better tomorrow. 

We shape our future.

Why I jump?

My heart beats like crazy.
What do do?
Put on some cloth.
Earpiece in this ear of mine.
Hoping this loud music will blind me
Leaving me deaf
From this loud sound
The beat of mine
This heart of mine

O this heart of mine
I have no idea
What do I do to calm you.

I starts jumping
Hoping this jump
Could skip my heart by a beat
Veil me from this unknown beat.

Allah, my God,
Silence already

When time comes, It just do.

I saw birds fly.
They flies free
Leaving what's behind
Blow away the joys
The tears start flowing
Creating puddle and soon a sea of tears.


Theirs had gone earlier
Against the law
Not a word can describe their lost
Their sadness
All left for me is shock
and worry.


"I'm scared that mine will fly too.
How do I face it when time comes
How would I live
when what is mine is taken away.
It has always been mine
ever since this eyes of mine is open
All this time that passed,
I'm afraid."

adult is what they call

Now that I know how it feels like

To be another of them

Everything seems more important

More than how it was before.

Now that I give

From what I get

Charity looks more important.

Now that I pay from what I earn

Each cent is my sweat

Each sweat is precious.

Now that I am standing in front

All I see are growing reed

Finding their ways

Every step is a lead

Another example followed

Hope to light their future.

Now that I see

How near I'm coming to the end

Every second is precious

This journey is priceless.

Everything looks important

As they always are

It is me, the soul in me who need

This long time to realize

How Important is important.

Thing that shouldn't be forgotten

Remains in my mind.

the will he left for you to read

'my life may end' by dahuq95

For he who went through a lot
for him who felt annoyed by the 'outsiders'
who know him not
walk on the road with him never
all they said was they know
for him who I loved.

They said, they understand
though he knew they didn't
though they know they didn't
they say it's okay, it's easy, just do it
though he knows it's the hardest
it would take quite long,
it bleed him inside
only if their words can stop
that time from ticking.

Don't say you understand when you don't
I'm afraid it would make him feel even bad
cause he knew everyone have faith written
and it's all different
a hug or a kiss would be much better
he would feel stronger with your warmth
hold him and let him know you are there
a word of love would have been much comforting

Don't leave him
cause this maybe his end
his last days
you may not see him again
he may leave you forever
for his cut is too deep
pain is him.

For them who don't understand
a will that he left for you to read
for you to understand
so that you know the pain
that he was drown in
not a human can swim to take him back
for the water was an endless roller coaster.