.P.H.O.N.E.

Sometimes I just hope that I can live without you
Live alone with no distraction
Live with peace
This heart is longing for tranquility
So much that I can't breath at times
So much that this eyes start crying
I miss those days
Where I'm free from you
Where I don't have to always look out for you
Those days when everything was fine
Though it was tough and rough
Those days when it was only me and HIM.

O Allah..
Let me be your companion here and hereafter
Let me always be with You
Let me be close to You
Make this feeling of longing gets deeper
I don't want to be a pet who feel lost
Though it's owner is just right next to it
O Allah, help me.

For the Yesterday that I hope had never happen.

 

While I'm doing some work and perhaps some thinking too, I came to realize that I am never grateful of anything. All the blessing that He gives. There are just too much that they starts clouding my eyes, blurred them. To the extend that I tends to forget where I am supposed to be. What I am supposed to do. The promises that I made. I make more every single day not realizing how I abandoned all of them everyday. Never accomplished any of them. How shameful it is to have all those debts unpaid.

There are times when I want compliment so badly from the love ones and just when they give it, I feel insulted. "Have they never see me doing this before? Is it a new thing that I'm doing?" I asked to myself "What is wrong with them?" when the question I'm supposed to ask myself is "What is wrong with me?" 

Pointing hands is what we do to feel better. What we do when we already know we are to be blamed. When the responsibility is in our own shoulder. When our mind is not at ease. Our heart and soul are far from where they should be. Far from God. 

To blame the noise when we can't study, to blame the house for being small, to blame the clock when we are late, to blame a friend when we were given detention. It's not their fault for us being weak. It's not their fault for us not being able to handle the situation.

And..

To blame our parents for the way we were brought up is just like blaming God for creating a tough test for us. The time had passed. There is nothing that we can do but regret what is yesterday and make a better today. It's a faith that we can't change now as it already happened. 

A past to remember. 

A past that we shouldn't repeat. 

A past called yesterday.  

An example for a better tomorrow.

more than usual

I would never let anyone change me
It will never happen
Why would I want to change myself for the sake of  'OTHERS'?
Why can't them? Why not them?
Why do I always have to give up and let the surrounding change me?
Why can't I change it instead?

Well,
Sometimes change is not always bad.
Sometimes we need to change ourselves to someone better
to get to the place we once dreamt of
Sometimes we need to change ourselves to change the surrounding to what we admired
We need a wing to fly high
We need a stronger limbs to climb the mountain
We need a louder voice for the whole world to listen
We need to work more to succeed
We need to aim to get a perfect shot
We need to do more than what we can
We'll have to push the limit to reach the goal
We'll have to get out of our comfort zone to achieve it.
To achieve all of them

To attain peace and tranquility, a bit of change is sure useful
Changing is not giving up,
It is a sign that we still have faith in this life, the day after it and in God.
A sign that we are still giving our best
Being afraid of change is similar to being afraid of growing up
A change worth more than what we expect it to be.