you're my best.

'Sunrise Medan 2015' by dahuq95

I'm always scared of getting broken
Getting hurt or crushed by someone
By others
And whenever I'm scared or broken
I would always run to you
Cry to you
Complaint and sometimes nag to you.

Around you
It felt real
I was me
I didn't have to neither act
Nor be someone else
You made me be myself
It's never unusual for me to be around u

To cry to you
To share my heart broken love stories
To share about my admired Prince Charming
That is yet no where to be found.

Now that you're not around
I realise how precious you were to me.
How I actually took you for granted
How I only take you in when I was in need
But never had I share with you the times
when I'm delighted, happy or in cloud 9.

In the times when I was insecure
You made me a queen of all beauty
In the times when I had fright
You made me a poet with all confidence
In the times when I was blanked with all the problems
You made me a councillor with all intelligence
In the times when I'm lost
You guide me to Him.

Truely
You are my very best
Love you and will always do.
May all these days we spent be remembered.

D E J A V U

Pernah kau merasa deja vu?

Seakan kau mengulang perkara lalu

Seakan pernah kau merasa pilu itu

Pilu yang menghantui kau setelah kegembiraan

dan kemanisan dusta ini pergi

Kepiluan yang akan menghantuimu

Hidungmu yang tinggi melangit

Bersubangkan kemegahan

Kebanggaanmu meragakan kemewahan

Melambai kebenaran

Menghiasi matamu dengan celak kedusta

Memicakan diri dengan dendangan kekufuran

dan merangkuli kezaliman

yang kau pasti kekhilafannya

Mengapa masih kau menyasar?

Sedang kau tahu akan wujudnya

kesahihan yang menyuluh pasti

Sedang kau tahu perit dan pilu

yang bakal menusukmu

Gobar hati yang meronta menyesali

kezaliman yang kau hiasi

dengan kemanisan dunia

Namun ingatlah,

tiada keindahan yang lebih manis

dari kemanisan nertaubat.

Meski kau pasti kezaliman itu akan menjadi deja vu.

Sungguh tiada yang kau gerunkan selain

dari mati sebelumkau sempat bertaubat.

"Jika kamu bertaubat sehingga taubat itu gugur dan kamu kembali melakukan dosa, 

maka, bersegeralah bertaubat kembali! Katakanlah pada dirimu:

"Moga-moga aku mati sebelum sempat mengulangi dosa kali ini..."

-Imam Al Ghazali-

26 YEARS

"After 4 years, it is painful for me."

She said that with with a smile. 

Her white cheek turned red. 

"But it's thousand time bearable than the 26 years of hers"

Tears fell from her warm cheek.

'Yes' it should be painful. It is.'

I could say no word. 

No word of comfort. 

My hands moved and rubbed her shoulder hoping that I could comfort her.

"But at least she have all of you."

That hit me like a bullet.

'Will my presence make any difference?'

'Could I wipe away all her tears?'

'Brighten her dark night?'

'Put a smile on her face on these very tearful days?'

'And probably lessen her burden?'

All these questions struck me.

Did I do enough for her?