identity

'tears of a soften heart' by dahuq95

Now

I just wanna close my eye

Forgetting about this world for a second

Just for a second

To forget the past

And also the future that is hunting me

Pulling me down.

Just let me close my eyes

Let my mind go free

Let this so-called identity fade

Leave me alone with amnesia

Let it do its job

Cause I can't think no more

.

My identity is my cloth

My past define me

My future saves me

Just if

If I take off my old cloth 

And put on a new identity

Brush off my past 

Drawing out a new future..

Will you treat me better?

Will he be okay?

I'll be yours. :)

Friends. Just the word itself is tempting. I want to make more of them. I want the whole world to be mine. My friend. We may not be of the same color but it doesn't matter 'cause 'Hi' is all that it take to start one

.
     My legs keep walking. Walk all over this land of His. Dancing and twirling around to find you. Another friend of mine. Wishing you are walking too. Wishing we will meet on our way to the paradise of His.

     Smile is my clothe, my accessories now. It was always his too. I hope my smile will make your day as his had made others. How his smile melts the hard rock hearts, cleared the path, brighten the dark, moisten the dry eyes. How his smile change the heart of the haters. Your smile spoke for thousand words. Just your smile was enough, so beautiful that no word was able to describe its beauty.

     My arms are open wide for you. Hoping that they will give you the warmth that you needed. The comfort you're finding for.
   
     There's one thing that I learnt out of friends, out of making more friends.
They say one good friend is enough but for me, friends are never enough. Seeing new faces is what making me who I am. It is what learning is all about. The differences are what completing us. Making us One.

Thanks for being one of mine. :)

Now

Perception.

We almost forget everything that we did.

Perhaps life is just too short for us.

To even remember what just happened.

A second ago.

I thought I was fine.

Now I'm lying down.

Helpless. Breathless.

Paralyze trying to flash back what just happened.

But nothing.

Nothing is all I see.

Memory is gone.

Appear to me as if I'm living in a new life.

A new born baby.

Just that I have been here before.

Life is too short as this breath that I take.

Now we are here.

Inhale later, I'm gone.

Taken from my head.

My soul is out free.

Free from this humanly insane desires.

Lust for what is wrong.

Hate for what is right.

Ungrateful for what is given.

Ask for more and end up missing the first.

Life is what now is.

Tomorrow is never promised.

But death is awaiting.

Promise that never will be broken.

Just keep going and don't let the past nor the future hunt you down cause He got your back.

Always and forever.

where my future holds.

Every step taken leads me to a place,

   A place where the future holds.

Every breath taken leads me to a place,

   A place where I become a human.

Every sweat falls leads me to a place,

   A place where I see a sea of opportunity.

Every blessing earn leads me to a place, 

   A place where I learn to be grateful. 

Every thing I fed on leads me to a place,

   A place where the flash of tomorrow grows.

Every thing that I hear leads me to a place,

   A place where builds this tranquility.

Every picture that I see leads me to a place,

   A place where my memory built. 

Every doing of mine leads me to a place,

   A place where my heart is built. 

Every thing of today leads me to a place,

   A place called tomorrow.

Every thing we do today builds our future. 

Every choice is in our hand.

That leads us to a better tomorrow. 

We shape our future.

Why I jump?

My heart beats like crazy.
What do do?
Put on some cloth.
Earpiece in this ear of mine.
Hoping this loud music will blind me
Leaving me deaf
From this loud sound
The beat of mine
This heart of mine

O this heart of mine
I have no idea
What do I do to calm you.

I starts jumping
Hoping this jump
Could skip my heart by a beat
Veil me from this unknown beat.

Allah, my God,
Silence already

When time comes, It just do.

I saw birds fly.
They flies free
Leaving what's behind
Blow away the joys
The tears start flowing
Creating puddle and soon a sea of tears.


Theirs had gone earlier
Against the law
Not a word can describe their lost
Their sadness
All left for me is shock
and worry.


"I'm scared that mine will fly too.
How do I face it when time comes
How would I live
when what is mine is taken away.
It has always been mine
ever since this eyes of mine is open
All this time that passed,
I'm afraid."

adult is what they call

Now that I know how it feels like

To be another of them

Everything seems more important

More than how it was before.

Now that I give

From what I get

Charity looks more important.

Now that I pay from what I earn

Each cent is my sweat

Each sweat is precious.

Now that I am standing in front

All I see are growing reed

Finding their ways

Every step is a lead

Another example followed

Hope to light their future.

Now that I see

How near I'm coming to the end

Every second is precious

This journey is priceless.

Everything looks important

As they always are

It is me, the soul in me who need

This long time to realize

How Important is important.

Thing that shouldn't be forgotten

Remains in my mind.

the will he left for you to read

'my life may end' by dahuq95

For he who went through a lot
for him who felt annoyed by the 'outsiders'
who know him not
walk on the road with him never
all they said was they know
for him who I loved.

They said, they understand
though he knew they didn't
though they know they didn't
they say it's okay, it's easy, just do it
though he knows it's the hardest
it would take quite long,
it bleed him inside
only if their words can stop
that time from ticking.

Don't say you understand when you don't
I'm afraid it would make him feel even bad
cause he knew everyone have faith written
and it's all different
a hug or a kiss would be much better
he would feel stronger with your warmth
hold him and let him know you are there
a word of love would have been much comforting

Don't leave him
cause this maybe his end
his last days
you may not see him again
he may leave you forever
for his cut is too deep
pain is him.

For them who don't understand
a will that he left for you to read
for you to understand
so that you know the pain
that he was drown in
not a human can swim to take him back
for the water was an endless roller coaster.

be ready for poverty and misfortune as a lover.

LOVE by dahuq95

They speak, they say.
I can't stop them from saying
Their words keep shooting
I can't help it but keep my ears close
Keep these eyes close so I can't read their lips
Please stop
She is my friend
I can't stab her from her back
I can't say a word about her
I can't bring myself to it
But I'm too coward to walk away
Cause they are also my friends.

They say they hate her
Would they say the same behind my back?
About them hating all of me
About how coward I am
About how I stutter in between my words
How I jump my lines
How not friendly I am
How clingy I can be.

Thinking about this disgust me
As always
Human are never perfect
I can't have high expectation on them or myself
All of it will fall back to ground
Low
He have always been there
No matter what happen He will never leave us
Why not put all my hope and love for Him?
The All Seeing, The All Loving, Most Merciful
Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He).
No matter how high it is it won't fall
We could fall but we can climb back up
But our hope for Him will forever grow.
Know that when we are lovers of The Prophet Muhammad,
we have to be ready for poverty.
And when we are lovers of Allah,
we have to be ready for misfortune.

Love of Allah and love of His Messenger are linked to poverty and misfortune. This is why some of the righteous have said: "Misfortune is assigned to friendship, lest it be merely pretended." If it were not so, everyone would claim to love Allah( Almighty and Glorious is He), so He has made constancy in the face of misfortune and poverty an indication of such love.

Shaikh Abd Al-Qadir Al-Jilani, from the book Al-Fath ar-Rabbani (The Sublime Revelation)

Translated from the Arabic by Muhtar Holland, Al- Baz Publishing.

First Discourse, Pg 17. 

have a break

Relax
Let your mind fly
Fly with all your imagination

Think.
Of all the good things
All the blessings
What's around you

It may not all be beautiful
Ugly may be better for you
Let it be
Just go with it
Try for better.

Continue.
It have to go on
Can't stop
Time can never stop
You may try stop it
You'll know it's a waste.

Alone.
It's just in your mind
Know that it is never there
Never have been there
You are never alone
Just open your eye and your heart
You'll see Him there.

Tidak Tenteram Aku

Jantung berbicara seribu

Laju lagunya

Petah menegur sang tuan

Apa sukar untuk kau

Mengerti isi hati mu

Bicara ku

Bukankah aku petanda

Diberi Tuhan kepadamu

Agar kau tahu

Sungguh hati ini tidak tenang

Tidak mungkin akan bahagia

Tatkala kau lupakan

Dia

Terima kasih jantung hatiku.

I'll be leaving soon

They say that I'll die 

they say the time will come

it's very near 

just wait 

That's what I can't do

I can't wait 

I can never wait

I'll do something
I said I'll do

yet till now I'm just waiting

not realizing how fast time has passed
years had gone

こわい

ほんとに こわい

Thinking about this waiting period

it is scary

the time will come 

It is just unfortunate 

that we don't know 

when the time will come

when our time will end

A moment

I prayed to know 

prayed to die with sign

with pain as a sign

they say it's unlucky

they say pain won't help

they say it's me who have to work hard

I just wanted to be ready

to get ready to leave

the pain can tell 

that I'm on my way 

I'm going back home already

Instead of waiting 

for the time to come

for the signs to come

I pretended 

I'm the pain

I'm suffering the pain 

struggle to overcome this disease

the disease that me myself created

my dunya is a pain (dunya: this world)

my dunya is my disease  

it's my jihad to overcome myself.

eyes speak for a thousand words
dahuq95

運命 ∥ FATE

Every thing seems bright

when all goes as we planned

every thing is a success

when all goes well

every thing seems well

when all goes as we planned

in our eyes things are just that simple

it is a cycle that just goes

around the cycle

a simple mind set of a human

we are liars

lying ourselves

thinking that we'll eat all our lies

when it's a poison killing ourselves

we are murderer

it's a suicide

神風

there is a simple fact

a medicine to this suicide

for all of us to survive

"accept"

it always differ

from what we expect

we planned and tried really hard

we might have given our very best

でも

just at the very end, it flipped over

erasing what have been written.

.P.H.O.N.E.

Sometimes I just hope that I can live without you
Live alone with no distraction
Live with peace
This heart is longing for tranquility
So much that I can't breath at times
So much that this eyes start crying
I miss those days
Where I'm free from you
Where I don't have to always look out for you
Those days when everything was fine
Though it was tough and rough
Those days when it was only me and HIM.

O Allah..
Let me be your companion here and hereafter
Let me always be with You
Let me be close to You
Make this feeling of longing gets deeper
I don't want to be a pet who feel lost
Though it's owner is just right next to it
O Allah, help me.

For the Yesterday that I hope had never happen.

 

While I'm doing some work and perhaps some thinking too, I came to realize that I am never grateful of anything. All the blessing that He gives. There are just too much that they starts clouding my eyes, blurred them. To the extend that I tends to forget where I am supposed to be. What I am supposed to do. The promises that I made. I make more every single day not realizing how I abandoned all of them everyday. Never accomplished any of them. How shameful it is to have all those debts unpaid.

There are times when I want compliment so badly from the love ones and just when they give it, I feel insulted. "Have they never see me doing this before? Is it a new thing that I'm doing?" I asked to myself "What is wrong with them?" when the question I'm supposed to ask myself is "What is wrong with me?" 

Pointing hands is what we do to feel better. What we do when we already know we are to be blamed. When the responsibility is in our own shoulder. When our mind is not at ease. Our heart and soul are far from where they should be. Far from God. 

To blame the noise when we can't study, to blame the house for being small, to blame the clock when we are late, to blame a friend when we were given detention. It's not their fault for us being weak. It's not their fault for us not being able to handle the situation.

And..

To blame our parents for the way we were brought up is just like blaming God for creating a tough test for us. The time had passed. There is nothing that we can do but regret what is yesterday and make a better today. It's a faith that we can't change now as it already happened. 

A past to remember. 

A past that we shouldn't repeat. 

A past called yesterday.  

An example for a better tomorrow.

more than usual

I would never let anyone change me
It will never happen
Why would I want to change myself for the sake of  'OTHERS'?
Why can't them? Why not them?
Why do I always have to give up and let the surrounding change me?
Why can't I change it instead?

Well,
Sometimes change is not always bad.
Sometimes we need to change ourselves to someone better
to get to the place we once dreamt of
Sometimes we need to change ourselves to change the surrounding to what we admired
We need a wing to fly high
We need a stronger limbs to climb the mountain
We need a louder voice for the whole world to listen
We need to work more to succeed
We need to aim to get a perfect shot
We need to do more than what we can
We'll have to push the limit to reach the goal
We'll have to get out of our comfort zone to achieve it.
To achieve all of them

To attain peace and tranquility, a bit of change is sure useful
Changing is not giving up,
It is a sign that we still have faith in this life, the day after it and in God.
A sign that we are still giving our best
Being afraid of change is similar to being afraid of growing up
A change worth more than what we expect it to be.

why I smile?

They say life was made easy

Life was made perfect

All is fine when we are in the right track

But it just seem that nothing is going right

Why would I smile?

Should I cry instead?

Can't you answer me?

Growing up is hard

Your existence make it harder

Not having you around,

My life ain't complete

I'm stuck between two choice

To have you or to just put you away

Life is just another choice

That make me think

Think of what I have and what I don't

I find it easy to make choices when you smile

Smile

There is always a reason to smile. :D

reasons to smile by dahuq95

look back and you'll see that there are a thousand reasons to smile.