Dahuq was trying not to make any sound so that she won't wake her mother up. Yes, she is meeting Zul again.
But then for the first time she failed, her mother, Rita was at the kitchen, drinking.
"Going out again huh? And surprisingly, this time it is without my permission.
'Sh*t, what are you doing here?'
"Sh*t? Wow, that is very polite. I never thought you would be that polite to your own mother." Ouch, only God knows how much that word hurts her mother.
'Mother, i gotta go. See you then'
"Why so fast? I have not finish yet"
Dahuq stop. `Oh no!
"With who are you going out with this late night? Have you pray?"
'Mom, I'm not a kid who pee at her pants. Pray?'
"Yeah, you may not be kids anymore, but it is my responsibility to always remind you."
'Mom, must stop nagging okay?' ~nagging? how it really hurt her heart more.~
"I thought I have sent you to islamic school, and you knows what's right and what's wrong"
'Yeah, thanks for that. I know what's right and what's wrong. And what I'm about to do is right..'
"O, you think it's right? Come on don't continue living in denial."
'Denial? What did I do wrong? Say it mom!"
For the first time, Dahuq speak to her mother with a very high volume. She was such an innocent child. But now that she has Zul, every thing changes.
"Having boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage, is it halal?"
'Well, is it haram then?'
Her mom turns around trying to avoid her daughter gaze. Her tears that she tried to keep fell. The tears rolled down her cheek and fell. But no one saw. Just she, her and herself. Dahuq left already. She felt on her knee when the door was closed.
"Dear God, please. Please, help her. Guide her to the path. Guide her back. Please. I beg you. She has gone so far."
Rita lay on the cold floor waiting for her daughter.
The clock shows 12:00 but Dahuq is still not home. She kept hoping and praying that everything is all right. She never did these before. Never meet any guy personally. Never have an argument with her either. It just scare her when Dahuq started doing all these. ~Would she change even more? Would she get worst? All the questions lingered in her mind. What should I do?
She called her daughter. Twice, trice but Dahuq never answer.
She sat on the chair later.
When Rita woke up, it was dawn. She rushed upstairs. Her daughter was praying. She smiled. ~Dahuq would not change wrath. She would always be her. My innocent daughter and it won't change.~ she thought. As a single mother, she did everything. She tried her best to complete her daughter. Dahuq has ease her all this while but there is always test. Test from Allah for both of us.
That morning, as other days, she prepared breakfast.
It was Dahuq's routine to wake up early early every morning and she did. Dahuq came to the kitchen. She was ready to go, but she would not skip her breakfast. It's a must. A rule that she up hold since she was a kid.
She sat in the dining room.
"Here, let's eat."
'Mom, about yesterday, I'm sorry. I should have not shout.'
"Do you have to have one..?"
"A boyfriend. Is it a must?"
'I don't know, I just need him.'
"Why? What is he for?"
'To complete my life.'
"Complete your life? How would that be?
'Mom, I need a guy in my life. Can you give me back my father? Huh? You can't right? So, just stop.'
"Why? All this while isn't it enough me alone? Since your father died when you were a baby, I never thought of getting married again. I thought you are fine. I've tried my best to be both your parents."
'Mom, don't lie to me. You need a guy to guide you, right? Woman needs a guy, a husband.'
"Yes, woman need a husband. Your father is my husband."
'WAS. He was your husband. He is dead mom.'
"He is going to be my only husband.No one else will replace him. I don't need other guys in my life. Allah is enough. H e completes my life."
'Mom, stop this nonsense please.'
"Dahuq, do you realize what you're saying? Our day will always be complete with Allah in our heart. Having a boyfriend, what would he help?"
'Mom, i know. I'm sorry. It's just that, with Him by my side I feel safe.' (smile )
"Safe? How?What? What did he save you from? Enemy? What enemy do you have in this peaceful country other then 'shaitan' (devil)? Can he shoo the shaitan away for you?
'Don't be ridiculous. Stop this.'
"No I'm not being ridiculous and I ain't gonna stop either. Do that guy bring you near Allah or near to being the friend of shaitan?"
'I don't care as long as he loves me, everything else doesn't matters.'
"Love? Love is what you say?"
'Yes, he loves me more then anyone else does. I love him too and there is nothing that you can do.'
"Love. Do you even know what love is?"
'Yes, sure I do.'
"You know? If you know, you won't be doing that then. So, if you know what love is. Tell me then."
'Love. Love is when you like some one. Like him no matter how, what comes. You will even die for him' Dahuq stops. Rita smiles.
"My dear, Love is when you protect someone. Protect him/her from what ever that come. From shaitan, from her/ him getting near to kufr or getting near to nar. Bringing him/ her near to Allah s.w.t. That is what love is. It is not to only like someone, or love someone with all your heart. If you love him and he can bring you to jannah, get marriad. Marry him."
'Mom, I'm not ready yet. I don't want to get married yet.'
'So, why you go out with him? Why love him so much?What is it for?
'To know him better. To have fun. I don't want to get married early and leave all the fun of being teenagers'
"To know him better? To have fun? There is no other better fun than getting married. What ever you do with your husband is halal. You get reward in jannah. Now, when you with him, don't he touch you. Your hand? It is haram. Everything you do with him is haram, don't you realize?"
'He is also a muslim, he know. He don't do such things.'
"Yes, he is a muslim, i know. But, do you see what is in his heart. What he saw when he sees you. What he feels. Do you know? It is zina, when he thinks of you, sees you, imagine you. Before he sleeps. Zina. Don't you afraid?"
'I don't know mom. I don't know what to do.'
"Ask him to come over."
"Leaves everything to Allah. He already says that a good woman is for a good guy. Don't you remember?"
'But, it don't seems true...'
"If it is not, then it is a test. this life is always a test. A test that is given for the one who is ready for it."
'I'll think a bout it over again.'
"Okay, you gotta go work. Just.."
'JUST THINK THE BEST WAY. ALLAH KNOW THE BEST.! Thanks mom, for being my mother all this while.'