Accept

December arrived, that is when I was borned :D

The weather have been pretty cold and windy which is a perfect combo for me cause I like it chilly. When I watch and see the reaction of humans towards these changes, it's kinda shocking. Weather is something given to us by God, something that only He can change. We can't make summer when it's snowing outside. We can't make the sun shine when it's raining. That is the reality that we have to first accept.

          We were so angry that it was hot outside and we were sweating. When we were blessed with a cold weather, we whine around saying that the cold was going to freeze us and we will die. Why do we have to be so fussy? Can't we just accept what we have for now? Are we God to decide what is best for the world? If we really can't take the weather, just make a move. If you can't, maybe that is the best for you. Just try to accept the fact that we are the slave. Slave to God. Slaves don't rule everything. Slaves take orders. We have to take and accept what is given. At least we are given something. So many things are given to us free.
       
          He gives us our body that we can't simply buy anywhere. It's priceless. The heart beat that is still pounding. Can you imagine where will we be if it stops? Will we be dead? Yes, of course we will. Just the things inside us, They are all amazing. Imagine what we are with any of them missing. Maybe we will not die but we are missing some part of us now. Won't we feel incomplete?

          If you are really feeling so hot, sweating or maybe too cold that you're freezing, just hang in there for a while cause when time comes, it will be either colder or hotter. For now, just enjoy the moment cause it is a Cycle. :D

Don'tShutMeOffJustLikeThat

What were you thinking?

When you shut me off like that

I was just being another of us

I was just explaining my confusion

Was I going against the rule?

Isn't being cruel going against the rule then?

Ridiculous it is

I can't talk 

Cause it's meaningless say you

Yet your vacant words are meaty?

Through all that dreadful killing phrase you said

I was patient 

Only this once

I expressed my curiosity, 

My anxiety 

Can't you just listened?

As much as I listened to you

Can't you

Those hurting phrase

I tried to ignore them

Tried to shut them off

But they keep coming

What is there left for me to do?

I can't shut my ear with these fingers

Cause its already in me

Flowing in me - firm

You told me to set a good example

But I can't find any good in you

Which example am I to follow?

Shutting me off like that

When I was questioning your example

Should I shut you off too 

When You question mine?

ButYouSaidYouCared

That abusive words you say

That thing that you use to hit her

Those are what make the monster she is today

Don't blame her for being a child that she is

A child who follow her desire

Child who you were before

What she is now

is nothing worst than what we was

Your reaction were unpredictable

Maybe you should read the Ruqyah to yourself

I think there might be a jinn in you

Causes such anger

Or are you tired?

As in I'm not tired at all?

Not tired of All your bullshit?

Think about it again.

No need for such pain

She grew up in much pain already

Don't compare yours and hers

What God created for us are never the same

That is what you can cope with

You are strong

But you can't expect her to be as you

I respect you as you are

Blame me for not having the courage

To tell you how it is wrong

To tell you how I am not agree with what you did

Yes, I am weak

Forgive me for that~

My lovely sister

"Hello  everyone .

I am Anfal Adib bte Abdul Majid 

I want to writing about my sister, Dahuq, she is a good girl, I like her, she is the best sister ever.

I love her

She teaches me in my studies and how to cycle.  

This blog is her blog, she let me use it. She is like my mother."

Rise

He put me down
When I needed him the most
He cut the tie
And let me go
Deep into this hole of my heart

I fell before
You came and bring light
I got so bright, so high
You were my life
The reason for me to still stand
When again I fell,
I fell crashing
The momentum was huge




Can't you take me back?
Fix this pieces of mine
Levitate this heart of mine
I begged
But till now he is never here
This desert dry me off
There's no love anymore

I'm hoping for the rain
Even for awhile
It doesn't matters
But he wasn't coming
I felt so lonely
No one was there
I'm waiting while tears fell
On this cold cheek of mine
Drenched my sorrow away

But GOD, You were there while he wasn't
My Lord, YOU were here
When he left me
It's a pain now
How I ignored this beauty love of Yours
I was lost with no direction
Forgetting that You were my goal
And forever will you be



Smiling here now
Looking at the past
When You saved me
From the dark part of that love
That hate
From the sorrow that kills me inside
Into this love I rise

~ I'm pale cause you're here~

Tired

Im tired of this life
Where people just being selfish
Thinking of nothing
But only themselves
As if the world only goes around them
As if I am their slave
To devote my life for them
For their freaking own life
Do they not see ME?

They are tired?
Trying to tell me I am not?
What about ME?
If everyone is tired
And everyone throws faces
Showing their emotions
Wouldn't it make it worst?
Huh?

I was fine
But now, I am tired
Tired of you
Cause everything is just about you.

Maybe
Just maybe
I AM THEM.

remain forgotten

It is just sad to see things change. So fast that at one point we stop and take our time looking back at a place called yesterday. Yesterday, when everything was fine. No war. No fight. Just you, me and us.

That was an intro. An introduction to...

Today.

With this simple phrase, I start. This writing is what I think of Today. What we should together do for a better Today from my view. A view of another one of you.

There is unjust everywhere

Greed is our scenery

Ungrateful in each heartbeat 

Directed by blind we travel across

Simply to make our world a miserable place

Leading this nation blindly

We determined to win

Celebrating the success with hate

not with love

We are in thirst

We choose to drink the sea water 

instead of the river

We become dehydrated 

We die in thirst of Love.

Blinded with wealth

Indeed we forgot

With envy we killed

The dead is forgotten 

History become his story

A story of others that fade

Falling into the same hole

Indeed we forget

Surat At- Taubah [9 : 25]

لَقَدْ نَصَرَكُمُ اللَّهُ فِي مَوَاطِنَ كَثِيرَةٍ وَيَوْمَ حُنَيْنٍ إِذْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ كَثْرَتُكُمْ فَلَمْ تُغْنِ عَنكُمْ شَيْئًا وَضَاقَتْ عَلَيْكُمُ الْأَرْضُ بِمَا رَحُبَتْ ثُمَّ وَلَّيْتُم مُّدْبِرِينَ

Allah has already given you victory in many regions and [even] on the day of Hunayn, when your great number pleased you, but it did not avail you at all, and the earth was confining for you with its vastness; and then you turned back, fleeing. 

poem : W I N D

Wind..
They just float, free in the sky
Not clinging to the gravity
Free in its own way
No worries being hit, being cut or cutting others
Simply, there bringing joy to everyone
To itself
If only, if only feelings are just like the wind
It's just free
Easy blowing its own way
With no worries, calm
Despite the crush, it brings joy
If only word are like wind
Its crush brings joy
Words that bring cold breeze to the sweating travelers
How I hope feelings can be easily put in words
Just like the winds making its own way through the hot air.

The Best Gift!

Few days back, I talk about change and how I want to change this world starting by changing myself.
What encourage me more is seeing my sister actually change! She was different before. She used to watch movies a lot, hear all kind of music and do what most of the others do. I remembered that she used to pray very fast :). But at one point, she change! Well, everyone has their turning point. Hers was really a complete change. I am so proud of her that I can't describe how grateful I am.

I don't know what makes she change but as far as I know, she starts hearing lectures from scholars and get amazed by Brother Nouman Ali khan's talk and she kept watching his talk that it actually changes her. All praise and thanks to Allah!. She change a lot that she starts to read quran everyday, learn tafseer and arabic. She prays well do rawathib. I was like WOW! Now, I am amazed by her! This make me realize and learn.

I kept asking myself everyday. Why can she change but why can't I?
Why can she be someone better but why can't I?
Allah promised me that He will help. But His help will only come after we try.
So, I tell myself, this means I have not try my best yet.
Allah can't be lying. It is impossible that He break His promise.

Well, if I say O Allah help me, I don't want to watch dramas anymore, it can't be possible until I myself stop watching. Stop and Allah will protect me from the addict.
If I keep saying O Allah, show me the path, but I do nothing, It won't make sense. I will have to search and read. Then, Allah will help me in understanding because guidance is belongs to Him. We try and He decide if He want to give the guidance or not all base on how much we try and our trust on Allah cause Allah says that He is what His slave think. If we think that He will not forgive us, He will never do. If we think that He is always there for us, He will always guide us. He will forever be there and guide us.
After all, He is the Owner and we are His slave..
We are so blessed to be His slave. The best gift!

Bayyinah.TV

Yesterday was the best day ever in my life.
The day that I got to actually rediscover surah Al- Fatihah by Brother Nouman Ali Khan himself.
He came to Singapore for the lecture and it was super awesome!
What we think about surah Al- Fatihah is not just what we think. It is more. Much more than that. It's incredible.
Well, I'm sort of promoting Bayyinah TV to you guys. Please subscribe! It is so cheap and you can just watch it everyday every time. You can share the password with your family! You're paying less than $9 per month for the whole family. How cool is that? There is tafseer lecture, you can learn arabic and many more. All in a very simple way. My sister subscibes for our family so I know how worth it is.

I've told you so, it is up to you guys now to decide!

Here is an examples of Tafseer lecture that he gave in Bayyinah.tv:

You guys can have a sneak peak of it in youtube for more.
If you want to subscribe or watch the sneak peak of the Arabic lecture,
here is the link : Bayyinah.TV .
Hope you guys subscribe!

Change~

Assalamualaikum! It have been a while since I last post in my blog.
I have about 5 more week of my school break and I decided to actually post everyday till my school start.

To start with, I thought of this topic: CHANGE.
And this is because I have been thinking of it day and night and day and night. Almost every time.
I've been thinking of making a change to this world.
Well, everyone dreams of having a new world, making a change for this world.
BUT, there is one question that we should ask ourselves ; Do we start changing ourselves?
Do I start changing myself?

We really wanna change our life. I really wanna change my world but did I ever change myself?
And due to this, I thought of writing everyday and force myself to actually do what I write.
Before, I used to write that I would never watch Korean dramas but as it turned out I did watch.
Not once nor twice, more then that. Not only Korean or Japanese movies and dramas, I should not actually watch much movies no matter what language it is.
I realize that I am actually a plastic, a hypocrite.
I'm changing myself and hope that we can change ourselves together.
I mean, we need us to change us, to change the world :D

So, for this holiday, I did do lots of my art thingy. If you guys wanna check it out. click at the instagram button at the right side >>>>

For this post, I have an ayah for you guys:

Surah Ar-Ra'd Ayah 11,


Meaning:
For each one are successive [angels] before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allah. Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. And when Allah intends for a people ill, there is no repelling it. And there is not for them besides Him any patron.

stranger.. I am.

Somehow, its sad to hear and see how others make their own perspective about Islam though they know nothing about it.
Without even bothering to ask or research about Islam, they simply make some conclusion out of what they see and they read.
How can we just judge a book by it's cover?
How can we just make a conclusion out of something we don't know?
How can we make conclusion of an experiment without even starting an experiment?
We can't just predict and write a report out of it without conducting an experiment?
It will be a total mess.

Maybe they did do research and studies about Islam.
Studying a religion is to find for their guidance.
What guide them? What book?
Study the book, the religion. And not their follower.
Cause human is neither perfect nor flawless.
Human have hearts, mind, body and lust that keep being the main enemy of the soul! ask
Keep asking for more.
Keep asking for pleasure.
The mind is says No but the heart says Yes.
Its a complete mess.
Human Make Mistake All The Time.
A degree student cannot ask a chemistry question  to a literature teacher, just because she once studied chemistry during high school.
It will end up disappoint himself.

All non Muslims  have an opportunities to be a Muslim.
It is a Muslim's responsibility to help them out.
To show them what Islam is.
Cause honestly speaking, its hard to avoid others from judging the religion by it's followers.
The least that a person can do is showing great example.

Just to remind:
“Islam began as a stranger and it will return to being a stranger, so blessed are the strangers.”

:) may Allah bless us all (:

Companions~

In the morning, there will always be an alarm clock to wake us up. Either it is a real alarm clock or a moving alarm. No matter how much we don't want it to ring, it will surely ring.
Wake up, there is someone next to us.
Pray, there is somone to pray with.
Using the washroom, there is always queing.
Eating, there is always someone else's food that we will take and pretend innocent.
Using the laptop, there is always someone to quarrel with..
Doing assignment, there is always someone to give answers.
Tired, there is always soneone to make us sweat more.
Going away, there is always someone that keep us coming back home.
Turning off the phone, there is always someone that keep us turning it  back on.
Feeling  bored, there is always someone who fill our day with excitement.
Feeling sleepy , there is always soneone who will keep us awake.
Closing our eyes, we know that they will always be there for us tomorrow, either we wish for or we don't.

Wow! How our life is so complete..
Someone to help us out.
Someone to ease our tough day.
Someone to accompany.
Also, someone to make our life harder.
What else do we ask for?

How could we ask for a better companions when we have never be a perfect one?

Just like that?

This heart can't stop beating.

Its beating so hard. 

Every beat, so fast.

Its trying to tell me how uneasy it is.

But, I can't understand.

Oh, why?

Bup bup bip bip bup!

Its beating harder, harder than ever.

Oh why?

What am I doing to deserve this punishment? 

Why? 
Why would this heart feel this way?
Why can't it just stay calm?

Who shold I ask to?
I'm so hurt that I just can't think.

Everything happens for some reason.
My heart beats this hard also for some reson.
There must be reason for it to do so..

Do we know n do we realise how something is a sin for us?
Do we know? 
Yes, maybe we know but sometimes, we forget or maybe we just try to forget them for we are blinded by the beauty of dunya that we somehow forget His beauty.
Our hearts know if what we're doin is right or wrong. And thats why they beat so fast. So hard. Just to wake us up from our dream. Just to bring us back to this reality.

So, if it beats hard, just like that, in one fine day without you trying so you know why.

.D.R.E.A.M.

They say dreams are something we really want that we end up seeing them in our sleep.
The thing is there is so much that I wish for but I never have seen them in my sleep.
Does that means that I have no dream?
Or does that mean that I don't really wish for them?
I have no answer for that.
Maybe it is true. Maybe it is not.
Only God knows.

What I see is, we can't control everything.
Cause we don't know.
Even now, when we are here, we have no idea what is the best for us.
Our dreams, our ambitions, are they the best for us?
We don't know therefore, we tends to do lot of mistake.
We can't get everything right the whole time.

We thought that what we are doing this whole time are right.
But instead, we are destroying our own dream.
Worst, we are destroying what are best for us.

We thought we could fix everything and get everything right.
But, little that we know, we are just delaying our success.

We don't even know what we love, what we like.
We thought that we are doing what we are supposed to do.
We follow our interest so much that we forget.
We forget that what we hate could somehow be the best for us and
what we love could be the worst for us.

2:216
Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is  good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.

The fact that we don't know, make us surrender.
Surrender to Him.
Surrender everything that we have.
Let Him decide what best for us.
We pray and He'll decide.
Have trust in Him and for sure He will give us what is best for us.

SMILE cause He knows what the best.
Let Him decide!

Almost!

Step by step. Moving fast. Very fast.
The fact that she don't like missing the train make her rush.
Though there is nothing to run for.
No important place to go.
Nobody waiting for her return.
Run run run for the train.
Looking at this girl might irritate you.
How she rush anywhere she go.
With her Mickey Mouse leather bag.
Long cloth covering her.
What a mess.
She don't know how to dress up, you might say.
Or maybe the fact that she don't want to stand out.
Don't wanna be seen by anyone, stay low?
She wanna be a pale lover. Maybe?

She ran too much that she got easily tired when she stop.
You might see her sleeping or trying hard not to sleep.
Her eyes almost closed but they opened right back.
She can't sleep. Not that she can't but she don't wanna sleep.
Afraid of falling into a deep pond of sleep.
Afraid of missing her station.
Knowing that she is sleepy, she turn the volume high.
'Wake up my heart. Don't fall asleep.
This is a race. Life is a race.'
She thought that she is just being so hard to herself.
'Or maybe life is more then a race.
Life is love. I'm here for His love.
I'll return to meet my love. After all we live twice.
We can still have fun in Paradise where we'll live forever.'

The train stopped.
She was there already where she should be.
Now she walk fast but not running.
Just a slow run.
She tapped her card and walk.
The sun was up. No cloud as companion.
It stood there shining high alone.
The weather was extreme.
Under that cloth, she was sweating.
It was flooding in there but no one knew.
No one knew except for her Lover.
Her Lover that knows everything though she never met Him.
But, she could feel Him.
Everyday, every hour, every second even in her every breath.

She took the path in the car park.
It was dark but she don't care embracing the dark rather than being under the dry air.
She hate sunny day.
How she love rainy days so much.
Having all her cloth wet for the cold rain.

Indeed it was dark.
She walk passing few cars.
Then, she heard the van.
The white van.
Suddenly, scare harm her.
Scare like she never felt before.

Somehow, the van remind her of the van that kidnapper used to kidnap.
She ran.
The sound was getting higher.
The van was growling louder.
It was getting nearer.
It scare me more.
I run across the cars.
The van was still there.
'Is it following me?
I don't wanna die.
I still have a lot sins to seek for forgiveness.
Much more repentant to do.
Oh my God, will be in the newspaper tomorrow in the list of lost teenagers?'
She ran fast that she didn't notice the exit.
She leaned against the wall.
Looking down at her shoe.
She was about to cry.
She held her fist high.
Ready to fight.
'I'll get through this. I can do this.
I'll fight till the end.'
Her gaze was still low.
When the growl was close, she held his gaze.
But all she saw was the van moving away.
'Oo, it was not after me.'
She laughed.
They are not after me!'
'How could I be that foolish? Why would they want me?'
She smiled all the way.

She walk out of the car park.
The hot sun killed her.
She walk slowly.
Slowly back home.
Still have 200 meters to walk.
She switched off the walkman which is a miracle.
She never switch it off when walking.
That day was different.
She just felt like she have to.
For no reason, she have to.
Her house was quite an empty place.
No one was there.
Only the unpleasant construction's noise accompanying her.

Taking a step crossing the road, she sighed.
Another tiring day.
She took another step not noticing the lorry coming from the construction area.
The lorry's growl wake her up from her dream.
She look around and saw the lorry coming. It was fast.
She move back.
The lorry moved passed her.
Her eyes were wide.
She was shocked.
'I almost get hit by the lorry.
I almost die. Almost.
I would not see that lorry coming if I can't hear the growl. And if I was using that walkman, I would be dead by now.
Oo, now I understand why He asked me to switch if off.'
Looking up to the sky, she smiled.
'THANK YOU'
Thank you for everything.
Not only for today.
For everything.

For this life that I not notice.
For your gifts that I closed my eyes to see..
For your religion that I turned away from it.
Praise be to You.
My love.

~a past to share~

Sahabat! Aku cinta kalian.

Dahulu, aku benci berkawan.
Inikan pula bersahabat.
Apa ertinya berkawan?
Bertemu? Lalu apa?
Berpisah?
Bertemu dan berpisah aja?

Kerna itu, aku benci berkawan.
Apa bedanya kawan atau sendiri?
Aku tak butuh kawan.
Kerna aku hanya butuh Allah.
Hanya Allah.

Aku tidah pernah mahu ada yang dekat.
Kerna yang dekat itu akan pasti aku sayang.
Akan pasti aku cinta.
Risau nanti akan ada butir- butir cinta yang mengalir.
Tidak mahu air mata melimpah setelah tertawanya aku.
Benci aku perpisahan itu.
Walau betapa aku coba.
Perpisahan harus terjadi.
Pasti.
Aku akan mati.
Begitu juga dia.
Lalu, kerna apa kita bersahabat?
Bila persahabatan itu tidak lama.
Tali yang diikat rapi.
Diperkuat dengan cinta.
Akhirnya putus jua.
Pasti putus.

Cintailah insan yang mencintai Allah.

Lalu kerna apa bersahabat?
Aku benci.
Kerna hanya air mata yang akan menemani dikala duka.
Aku tak butuh kalian.

Aku tidak butuh kalian hanya dahulu,
Kerna saat itu,aku tidak mengerti.
Aku lagi bego tentang dunia.
Yang ku tahu, ikatan ini pasti akan mati.
Faktanya, tidak.

Cinta ini.
Kasih ini.
Sayang ini akan ku bawa sampai mati.
Sampai aku hidup semula.
Hidup ku bukan sekali.
Aku akan hidup lagi.
Matiku hanya seketika.
Nanti, bila aku dibangkitkan.
Cinta ini akan pasti ku kenang.
Cinta ini akan ku bawa sampai syurga.

Biar kita melebarkan sayap menuju cita dan cinta.
Nanti di syurga kita ketemu lagi.
Dalam naungan kasih sayang Ilahi.
Cinta ini tiada ungkapan.
Lafaz cinta tidak mungkin bisa menggambar besarnya cinta ku buat mu
Namun aku masih mahu kata..
AKU CINTA KALIAN KERANA ALLAH
SAMPAI NANTI KETEMU DISYURGA>>!

| wake up! | I don't just love them, I love you too. |

I once said I'm free from K-pop.
I'm free from Jahiliyyah.
I'm not addicted anymore to the korean dramas but this week.

It maybe hard to say NO but let's try together!

I get myself back to the jahiliyyah life.
I bring myself to that.
Nobody did. Nobody ask. Nobody force.
It was me who bring myself.
I knew it was wrong, but I did.
When I was watching I knew.
I knew that I was the one who is pulling myself there.
I was bringing myself nearer to negligent.
Near to hell.
Cause the moment I start I knew it will be hard to stop.
But still for the pleasure that will never last I did..
My heart was so hard like a stone that I want to obey myself but not Allah.
I was Stupid..

Just when the drama started to the climax, I stop.
I tried. Cause when I watch, there is no pleasure for it.
He is calling me. He says stop. Stop my love.
You will never find pleasure in them.

He did just as every time I'm bringing myself far.
Just as when I rush to the phone after prayer, the wifi will never work.
Then I realise, He loves me. He wants me to have time to remember Him.
Ooo Allah, how much You love me that I seem to not see.
How I pretended to be that blind though my eyes is seeing.

How ungrateful I am to bring myself far,
when He is trying to bring me near.
When He is trying to make a place for me in Jannah.
When He is trying to make me see His beauty.
His beauty that I was longing for.
Die for.
And now that I try to forget that, He pull me nearer.
Nearer to Him.
Though I'm running away from Him.

Can't I still not see what He is showing?
Why am I acting to be this blind when my family is dying.
When they are struggling to live.
But here, nothing I can do.

Our spirit will never die!

So, should I still be blind and continue watching my Korea Drama?

Ya, my family is dying.
My family in Syria, Palestine, in Thailand.
They are all dying.
They were killed, murdered, slaughtered.
My sisters are raped, they are humiliated.
My children are killed when they are still small..
When I'm still here to watch them die.

Are they calling themselves Muslim when they are killing their own family?
Are you still a muslim, Basyar?
Even a women is promised hell fire for killing a cat.
What about those who chopped head?
Head of human.
How do you call yourselves humans when you are killing your own kind?

They are too small to be killed.

How can I call myself a human when I let them killed.
Yet, here I'm watching korfean drama?
How can I call them families?
How am I to call myself part of the family?
I let them die when I did nothing to protect them.

My family were forced to prostrate a killer.
They forced us to prostrate to a photo of Basyar.
A killer of our family.
They are shameless to call themselves a muslim.

I'm lost. I cry. I could do nothing to help them.
What change can I make when I can't change myself?
What change can we make when we are too busy watching k-pop?
Can we help?
Thought nothing I can do but at least we can pray for them

Before it was Palestine. They are still killed till now.
But there was nothing I did.
Now , it's Syria.
Still, I  did nothing.
Just waiting for others to make a move first when they are also waiting for me to make the first move.
How fool am I?

Hey syabab(teen)! Wake up.
Yes, sure we can say
"We are still young and there is still many beautiful things to see.
Many beautiful things to touch.
Till a time come we will make that change."
But are there still time for us?
Are we sure that we will for another day?
Are we sure we will wake up alive tomorrow?
Are we so sure?

We wait to get old to realise.
But, we never realise that by the time we are old, there are nothing left.
Nothing left for us to work for.
Why are we being so greed to enjoy every thing to our own?
What about our children?
Will we want them to live is a life of a war?
A life where PEACE is never known.
Never exist?
Never spoken?

Come on, I'm begging you.
Let's do it together.
To you, they may not be your family.
But for me, they are.
Can't you help me just this once?
They need me. They need us.
All of us.
I can't do it on my own.
It will never work.
Can you just do it for the sake of my family?
I need your help.
Cause only together we can make this change.

I love them and would like to visit their palace in heaven.
Thought it will be nice if you are there with us..
Cause I don't just love them, I love all of you too..

Speaking for my family in Palestine, Syria, and South Thailand.
~dahuq95~

regret.repeat.regret

I have been in this situation.

Regret. 

Maybe always.

Regret is not always for something big.

It's not always about death, life, exam, choices, studies or carrier.

It may be something small like, not smiling to a friend that he/she end up thinking that we are not happy for his/her success.

It look so small that you don't even think of it as a regret.

Sometimes, we regretted doing some sins.

We watched too much movies that we ended up forgetting our prayer.

And we regretted for doing so.

We determined and vowed that we would never repeat that stupid act.
Stupid act is what we called them when we are in regret.

But, time passed we forget our promises, we forget our vow and end up doing the same thing.
Not thinking them as a 'stupid act' anymore.

Committing a sins is addictive.

We tends to get addicted to them without knowing, without noticing.

We start repeating and make 'Allah is merciful' as our motto to commit more.

"Well, we do now, Allah forgive later."

Just like scratching ourselves.

We knew that scratching ourselves will ruin us.

We will get hurt but still for the pleasure, we did it.

And then when it hurt we regret.
We regretted more knowing that it will live scars.

But also knowing that the scars will fade, we still are doing it.

Just like other sins.

Just like zina.

For first, we thought that we made it out of us wanting, we can't hold back.

The lust is all over us.

So, we regretted for not being so strong.
Time flies, we remembered the pleasure.

We get addicted to it.

We repeated ignoring the consequences.

We make "Allah is merciful" as a motto.

And hope for His forgiving every time we commit it.

Are we not ashamed?

Maybe we, humans are never ashamed of ourselves?

We are never grateful for what is given to us?

Adam are made of soil.

We are just soil.

Dirts.

What are we to be so proud of.

We don't have anything but what are given to us.

We are weak, got no strength.

Don't we know the angel?

They are made up of lights.

They are never proud of themselves.

The devil, they are made up of fire.

So they do have something compared to us.

Fire can burn soil.

But we are appointed as a khalifah.

We should use this opportunity given to us in our best.

If we realize how small we are.

How we are nothing to be compared of.

We would never be proud of what we are.

We would spend our days and nights with our night sacrificing our everything for Him.

If only, we could realize and never forget.

Cause we would not want to cry watching what we are doing now in the day of judgement.

May Allah grant us understanding, forgive us and always protect us.

We have a very long way to go. Don't stop for a regret. Move on for a better day.

Peace~

birthdays..?

Happy Birthday.

Sanah Helwa?

Masaya kaarawan?

Selamat Hari Lahir?

생일?

สุขสันต์วันเกิด?

No matter what language it is, it only mean one thing, which is Happy Birthday.

What do 'Happy Birthday' really means?

Have a happy birthday? 

Maybe?

Who cares what it means.

Both words have no particular harsh meaning.

So, it's fine for you to just say it anytime anywhere.

We always hope for something good for our birthdays.

But, it is not the birthday which is important.

What we did through the years of living is what we have to review.

Cause that is what will be ask on the day of judgement.

Not what we achieve but what we did.

Cause we might say,

I achieve a great result in my exam, so that is my achievement for this year.

When the fact is we study less and do nothing cause we are blessed with a high powered brain.

What will be ask is what we do.

The result is just on paper. So?

What change did we do for the nation? 

What change did we do for Islam?

What change did we do for our family?

We did nothing, but we are so proud of  piece of paper.

Junk.

In the eye of Allah it worth nothing.

Let see this two twins here..

Adib is a girl who is a bit slow. Or maybe I could say way too slow in her study.

But, she struggled, she attended every class. Respected her teachers. Did her homework though her teacher will strike a big cross on the page for she did no right. Help her teachers and friends. She was always humble. She tried her best to help others and let her be the last. It's fine.

But for Husna, she is clever. Maybe way too clever than Adib.

She'll always be the first. She looked down on everyone. She didn't show respect to her teacher.

For her, she need no one, no teacher. She can study by her own. She boast around for her great result. Fooled everyone else and make them feel so depressed. 

Which one would you respect more?

Adib or Husna?

If you are human, your respect will all be for Adib.

Cause she is worth to be respected.

Teachers would love her though she is not that clever.

Achievement is nothing without effort.
Achievement is nothing without good attitude.

Birthday worth nothing if we are just the same person as we were on the birthday before.

It worth nothing when we didn't make a good change for ourselves.

It's okay to start from ourselves first.

Last year, we read Quran every Friday.

This year, it's the same.

What change did we do?

We didn't change. 

We were the same person as last year.

What is our one year worth for?

What did we do to thank Allah for this year that He gave us?

Or, did we ever say thank you? Did we ever praise Him?

Did we even remember Him in our every breath?

We didn't. So, what is our life worth for?

Did we ever think of it?

We asked so much but we did nothing.

Every year on our birthday, we will pray..

Oo Allah, I want a Samsung S4 for my birthday, and please give me that. Not Samsung S3. S4.

Wow, so demanding.

But for return, we did nothing, no thanks, no praise?

What are we worth for?

Why are the life given to us?

Do we not have a mossion?

Did we forget?

How could we forget?

Maybe it's because, we are given so many blessing that we forget everything?

Review ourselves.

Aren't we ashamed to ask for so much that we did nothing?

Aren't you?

So, let's ask ourselves, 'what did we do to thank Allah for this year that He gave us?'

For the life that He gave us.

~For my friend, 

"Sue, Happy birthday, May Allah bless you and help your every step in getting near to Him. Don't get so stressed out cause He is already near, always. May you today is better then you the year before. And may you next year is way better.. Peace~"

don't MHRSE and MHLSH..

Allah created everything in this world easy for us.
When Adam was in the heaven, Allah teach everything to him,
when he was lonely, Allah created Hawa,
when they made mistake, Allah forgive them :D
when they was sent to the earth, separated, Allah help them find their way.
and then, there come their children.
Beautiful!

When we are born to this world, we have family.
For the muslims, we have the great nikmah, which is Islam.
Then, we learn, we stand, we walk, we talk.
Step by step..
Allah teach us, Allah help us, Allah show us.
Everything was created easy for us.
Why? Cause Allah let it be easy..
You may say it's hard, tough. You can't make it and what so ever.
But, everything will look just fine, just easy, if we realise His love for us.
If we realise his mercy.
If we realise his blessing.
if only, we realise, everything look beautiful.
Allah make everything look easy for us though it's tough. :)

Allah make everything look easy for us but we make it hard.
Let me show you some example..
When a son of age 18 wanna get married, his family said no.
cause he is not old enough.
And when he do haram, his parent abandon him.
See, Don't Make Haram So Easy and HalaL So Hard.

Doing haram is easy.. Very easy.
So, why are we making halal harder?
When doing haram is already so easy?

Let together see another example.
A woman is not hijabihas a daughter which was also not a hijabi.
Her daughter started to practice islam and she wanted to wear hijab.
Her mother did not forbid but she showed her disapprove through her emotion.
And her daughter feel bad about it.
So, she decided not to wear.

See? this happen always.
And we seemed to not have strength to fight for what we think right.
So, let's do it together.
Cause, together we can..!

Cinta..?

Pernah ku tanya dia,sahabatku, apa kah misi mu dalam kehidupan ini dan seterusnya..?
Jawapan nya SYURGA.
Terdetik dihatiku rasa Simpati.
Syurga? Hanya itu?
Misi ku jauh. Aku mahu misinya juga jauh.
Lebih jauh.
Surga? Terlampau sedikit?
Tiada standard? Terlampau mudah?
Itu bukan masalahnya..
Cuma, aku tidak mahu dia terlepas pandang pada sesuatu yang istimewa.
Aku tidak mahu dia rugi.
Rugi? Apa lagi yang bisa dirugikan jika syurga dalam genggaman?
Pasti itu yang terdetik.
Banyak. Banyak yang akan kau rugi..
Apa?
CINTA..
Bodohkah aku untuk ungkapkan betapa besarnya cinta.?
Boleh menandingi syurga?
Aku tidak bodoh. Kerna itu aku tahu.
Kerna itu aku mengerti.
Kerna itu juga aku kagum.
Betapa besarnya cinta.
Cinta ini bukan cinta biasa.
Cinta ini luar biasa.
Cinta yang tidak mungkin kau dapat rasai dengan yang lain..
selain Dia..
Ya, cinta Dia yang ku maksudkan.
Cinta Dia yang akan ku tulis.
Kau tidak silap baca.
Pernah kau rasa cinta ini?
Pernah kau lihat?
Pernah kau sentuh cinta ini?
Ya, cinta ini sungguh besar.
Tiada ungkapan.
Mana saja kau pergi, cinta ini yang kau lihat.
Cinta ini yang kau rasa.
Kau tak akan mungkin lari.
Walau kau cuba, tidak mungkin bisa.
Cinta Dia terlalu luas untuk kau sembunyikan.
Terlalu nyata untuk kau butakan mata mu.
Terlalu jelas untuk kau menipu diri mu,
Terlalu mendalam untuk kau renangi.
Terlalu mendalam untuk kau mengerti.
Mana mungkin kau mengerti cinta kompleks ini.
Mata yang buta menjadi celik.
Telinga yang pekak juga bisa mendengar laungan cinta si Dia.
Manakan yang celik, manakan yang bisa mendengar.
Pasti kau bisa.
Cinta Dia datang dalam semuanya.
Kadang kau rasa dibenci oleh Dia,
Tapi kau lupa.
Dalam suka dan duka,
dalam sukar dan senang,
ada cinta.
Lagi kau diuji, lagi itu cinta Dia datang.
Tika kau rasa sukar, tika itu Dia ada.
Tika kau rasa Dia jauh, tika itu Dia terlalu dekat
Tika itu juga Dia mahu kau tahu Dia dekat.
Kau rasa sukar kerna Dia mahu kau sedar,
Bahwa Dia sentiasa ada.
Sentiasa.
Jangan kau rumitkan fikiran mu.
Buka fikiranmu, biar ia luas.
Jangan disempitkan semuanya.
Yang cantik, tidak semuanya sayang,
Yang buruk, tak semuanya benci.
Dia sayang kamu kerna itu Dia mahu kau pulang.
Pulang pada cinta Dia.
Pulang untuk hanya memohan pada Dia.
Kerna hanya Dia yang setia.
Kerna hanya Dia yang lihat.
Kerna hanya Dia yang mendengar.
Hanya Dia yang mengerti.
Dia memberi dan mengambil untuk kau.
Semuanya yang Dia lakukan adalah yang terbaik.
Kadang kau tak mengerti.
Semuanya berlaku tampak buruk buatmu.
Kau sendiri tidak mengerti.
Namun, akhirnya yang manis itu datang.
Itu janji Dia.
Satu kepastian.
Namun jika kau kenali cinta Dia sedikit awal,
semua yang dulunya kau kata buruk,
tidak akan pernah buruk.
Semuanya cantik. Semuanya manis.
Itulah Cinta.

Mereka kata cinta Dia buat aku buta
Mereka juga kata cinta Dia buat aku celik
Dahulunya aku tak mengerti
Namun sekarang semuanya jelas.

Cinta itu buta
Kerna cinta menundukkan mataku.
Cinta itu pekak
Kerna cinta menutup telingaku dari mendengar yang haram
Dari mendengar herdikan mereka
Cinta itu bisu
Kerna tiada kata yang bisa mengungkap cinta Dia.

Cinta juga celik
Kerna cinta membuka mindaku
Membuka mataku mengenal dunia
Membuka hatiku untuk mendekatiMu
Cinta juga membuka telingaku
Mendengar kebenaran
Mendengar panggilanMu
Cinta itu juga menyuruh aku berkata
Bangun menegakkan kebenaran.

Cinta Dia tidak mampu aku balas
Tidak mampu aku bayar
Aku hanya mampu menerima
Kerna aku tidak mampu
Tiada apa yang Dia minta sebagai balasan
Hanya untuk aku mengaku Dia sebagai Tuhan
Wah, sungguh dahsyat cinta ini
Tiada apa yang diminta selain mengaku kehadiranNya
Mencintainya.

Aku hanya mampu membalas cintaNya dengan mencintaiNya.
Wah, kagum aku melihat cinta ini.
Bangga aku mencintaiNya
Bangga aku mengucapkan cinta ini
Bangga aku mengaku Dia kekasihku.

Aku mahu melihat Dia
CintaNya sahaja sudah cukup hebat
Sudah cukup cantik
Manakan Sang Pencintanya?
Pasti menandingi kecantikan cintaNya.
Hebat, sungguh hebat!

Bagiku itu lah misi hidupku
Melihat kecantikan yang tiada tandingan
Nikmat yang terhebat

Aku tidak hidup untuk syurga,
Aku tidak hidup kerna takut neraka,
Aku hidup untuk melihatMu.

Itu misiku.
Itu cinta bagiku.
Apa pula kau?

| world_dunia | lakonan ku |

0030
Brush~brush ~brush...
Gonna get these teeth white and clean.
I get myself nearer to the mirror..
Oh they are still not that white.
Is it the tooth brush? Tooth paste?
Or maybe it's me that don't know how to brush?
I look again in the mirror.
What kind of human am I?
Will I live forever in this world?
Will Allah love me when I return to Him?
Will the prophet recognise me in the crowd of all the people?
Will I be able to find him in the crowd of the ummah?
huh~
I want my film to be the best!
huh~
Sigh sigh, sigh again.
Just saying without working, won't make a change!
An actor is always an actor.
I wanna be the best actor.
An actor that her days are filled with reality and not pretending.
I want my film to win the award.
The award of the best khalifah of this world.
What I'm doing now will be recorded.
Wherever I go, whatever I do, whatever time it is.
It is all recorded.
I don't run. Not because I can't.
But, How would I want to run from the beauty of Him.

I want it to always be good.
No, not just good, the best.
I want to be satisfied for my act.
No regret.
I don't want to be crying regretting my awful act.
For the act that is filled with nothing, no achievement.
For by that day, I can't make it change.

There are just so many actors in this screenplay..
Too many to be judge.
I want to be the one who get to see the Judge.
The Judge who uphold the true beauty.
The beauty that is no matched.
I wish I could be the one He loves most.
The one who will always be next Him.
The one who can always embrace His beauty.

Oh. How can I explain my love for Him?
This love is unbeatable. Indescribable.
That in whatever I do, I see Him.
His beauty.
How He created everything so perfect.
No flaws. Flawless.

Yeah. Gotta tell You.
Though I told You before.
Though You've heard it from my little heart.
Though You've heard me, You'll still be there to hear more.
Oh how beautiful you are.
How beautiful this love is.

My life as an actor will end with success.
Our life as actors will end with success.
InsyaAllah..

Oh how long will I take to brush my teeth.
Gotta go to sleep cause tomorrow will start a new day.
A new day that will be watched again by me.
Hope that I won't regret my days.
Hope that I will smile on that day for what I'll be doing tomorrow.!

These is what I want. What do you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

0030
Berus~berus~berus.
Gigi-gigi ini perlu ku putihkan, perlu ku bersihkan.
Aku mara ke hadapan, mendekati cermin.
Gigi ini masih belum begitu putih.
Berus gigi? Atau ubat gigi yang harus ku persalahkan?
Atau mungkin, aku yang tidak mahir memberus.
Ku tatap wajahku di cermin lagi.
Manusia jenis apakah aku?
Akan ku hidup di bumi ini selamanya?
Mungkinkah Sang Pencinta akan mencintai aku apabila aku pulang kepadaNya?
Mungkinkah Rasulullah mengenaliku dalam banjiran manusia nanti?
Bisakah aku mencari beliau dalam banjiran ummah nanti?
Aduh~
Aku mahu filemku menjadi yang terbaik!
Aduhai~
Keluh, keluh, keluh aku lagi.
Hanya berkata-kata, namun kerjanya tidak jalan.
Tidak mungkin aku bisa mengubah.
Pelakon memang selamanya pelakon.
Aku mahu menjadi pelakon yang lakonannya itu adalah yang terbaik.
Pelakon yang harinya diisi dengan realiti dan bukan mainan semata.
Aku mahu filemku memenangi anugerah.
Anugerah khalifah terbaik di bumi ini.
Apa yang aku lakukan akan direkod.
Dimana-mana aja, apa-apa yang ku lakukan, bila-bila masa sahaja.
Semuanya akan direkod.
Aku tidak lari bukan kerna aku tidak bisa.
Namun mana mungkin aku lari dari kecantikan Sang Pencinta.

Aku mahu semuanya baik baik sahaja.
Tidak, bukan hanya baik, terhebat.
Aku mahu puas dengan lakonanku.
Tiada sesalan.
Aku tidak mahu menangis sesali lakonan ku yang berantakan.
Lakonan yang isinya kosong, tiada jaya.
Kerna pada hari itu, aku tidak lagi bisa mengubah!

Terlalu banyak pelakon dalam lakon layar ini.
Terlalu banyak untuk diadili.
Aku mahu jadi antara yang bisa melihan Hakim.
Dia, Hakim yang menguasai kecantikan sebenar.
Kecantikan yang tiada tandingan.
Mengimpi disayangiNya.
Sentiasa berdamping denganNya.
Dapat memeluk kecantikanNya.

Aduh, bagaimana harus ku ucapkan cinta ini?
Cinta yang tiada tandingan. Tidak bisa diungkapkan.
Yang pada apa saja yang ku lakukan, aku ingat Dia.
KecantikanNya.
Bagaiman semuanya dibina cantik sekali.
Tiada cacat. Tiada cela.

Ya. Harus ku kasi tahu cinta ini.
Walau telah ku katakan sebelum ini.
Walau telah Kau dengar sebelum ini dari hati kecil ku.
Walau pernah, Kau tetap masih mendengar.
Oh, cantiknya Kau.
Cantiknya cinta ini.

Hidupku, lakonanku akan ku akhiri dengan jayanya.
Kehidupan kita , lakonan kita akan kita sama sama akhiri dengan jayanya.
InsyaAllah

Aduh, berapa lama lagi harusku berus gigi ini.
Tidur. Tidurlah. Kerna esok adalah permulaan untuk hidup yang baru.
Kehidupan baru yang akan ku tonton sekali lagi.
Mengharapkan yang pada hari itu, akan terukir senyuman dibibir untuk apa yang akan ku lakukan esok hari. :)

Ini yang aku mahu. Apa mahu mu?

| result | leave it to Allah |

tick tick tick~
"My holiday past by without me achieving anything.
I did nothing , I regret.
The whole holiday was such a waste.
I hope the time would wait for me.
Or maybe, I would return back to the time when i just ended my EXAM?

And now , the result is here~tomorrow.
How I wish the time could just wait or slow down a bit..
Or maybe skip tomorrow?
Just let tomorrow not exist in this week?
Can?"

Well, suck it up man. Time is time..
It can't stop, go back or forth.
It's just it.
We, human can't even make the grass grow,
How can we make the time stop?
How can we make the time reverse?
How can we make the time skip?
When Thursday is part of the week.
When your hand is part of your body?
Can you pull it off?
Only The Almighty can, We can't.
Just can't..
This weakness remind us that we are nothing more then a human.

Everything in the world follow the order of Allah.
The sun. The moon. The earth.
Even the time do.
So are we acting as if we are clever than God to turn His order around?
I don't think so..

Just use every second that is given to you in the best way.
What is past, don't just let it past.
Learn from them.
"I didn't prepare well for my trial exam. T.T"
If we say that and do nothing,  nothing will change.
Learn from what we did, either it's good or bad.
Knowing that we didn't do our best for our past exam,
We'll have to study the best for the real Exam coming soon.
Make a change.
Crying, talking, mocking, naging change nothing.
Unless if we do something.
Talk less. Work more ..!
Every second is a blessing from God, fill it with the best!

What is past, let it past. Learn from it.
What is coming, work for it!

And for the exam result tomorrow..
We have already sit for the exam..
So, what we can do now is pray and leave the rest to Allah.
He knows well.
He know the best. <3
What we think the best for us may not be the best for us!
Chill, pray, tawakal and wait for tomorrow~
Love ya <3

| stars | that's what we are like |

Which one would You wanna be? The bright or the dim?

Tonight, I look at the stars..

Some are so small, so dim that is so hardly seen.

Some are just fine..

Also, some are just so bright.

These stars remind me of us..

Humans.

We are like stars that want to be seen.

Want to be seen by God.

We can say, "I live in this world as a khalifah"

Oh yes, I know that already.

Everyone is.

If we wanna shine, we gotta do something and stop talking so much.

Cause talking too much makes no different unless we work it out.

Imagine if we are starts.

There are just too many of us.

We can't just stay and do nothing to be seen.

We have to run.

Not just run, cause others are also running.

We sprint.

Sprint to get nearer. Nearer to the One who are watching.

We can't just stay are wait for Him to bring us nearer.

This world are wide that we can't even see the other side of it.

This wide world are filled with humans just like us,

There are too many of us.

All are racing to be known.

To be notice.

To be seen.

We can't be seen unless we stand out.

We can't just be ordinary or normal.

We have to be more.

Not just normal.

We are talking about something universal.

International.

Not among Asian only.

Not among Singaporean or Londoner or Malaysian only..

Or what ever country you are from.

If others pray 5 times a day,

We can't do the same..

We do more..

But not by doing bidah and adding the sixth~

We do the sunnah..

Dhuha, Tahajjud, Rawatib?

If others read quran a page everyday,

We read a Juz everyday,

Don't do 1 half..

There's no big different.

Others can do the same.

 If want to be extra,

Learn the meaning.

Memorize.

That's the best.

We are not playing games now.

We are not in a rehearsal.

We are already in a competition now,

A real big one.

We are competing to get the LOVE of Allah.

He loves us, nothing else matters.

Only the one who He loves would be allowed to see His everlasting beauty.

Don't want to miss that? Keep up the good work!

Islam in still going to grow with or without us helping.

So are you in?

We are not here for fun and watch it growing.

We want to be part of it,

Don't just watch, join in!

 We want to be seen by The Only One Lord,

Da'wah for Allah!

 

 Like? share it. May Allah bless,

 

| be grateful | slaves|

Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?

Sometimes, we just love asking ourselves..

"Why is it so Hard?" "Why my life is always so hard..?"

Like why?
Ya..  We do love asking those questions..
The answers that we got are like:
"Everything don't come that easy man.It don't come rolling.! Come on, be a man. Fight for it"
"Well, you see.. Every each thing in the earth have price.. You can't expect to get it free.."
"Girl.. After every rain fall must come a rainbow?"

"Paradise is beautiful. I mean like everyone wanna be there. If God created it so easy for everyone then everyone is going there. So what's the point of having hell then?"
You got the point there somehow.
But the thing is, just think positive.
Things around you, it works the way you want it to be..
Even it's hard.. Just say.. "OH.. it's easy.. Not a big deal.. T.T"
It sounds stupid, it look hypocrite but it's fine.
If we set it easy, Everything is going to flow well InShaaAllah.
Even though it's hard, I'm not saying it will be easy right away but, we won't burden ourselves more. We won't get so stress out. Cause you see, our mind control almost everything.
Sometimes, it's a miracles that someone can smile though they are hated or everyone is talking bad things about them.
But this miracle does happen. We can just smile all the way though it's hard.
It's okay if it's hard as long as we think positive and just go for it.
We want something so, just go for it.
Making faces, crying out loud, shouting or sucide will not ease the problem.
We are just adding problems. Don't be a piece of crap that make thing go worst..
As long as we can still love Allah and always remember Him.
It's fine. Not just fine, it's great!

Just A story to share:

"This fajr,the alarm rang..

So I said 'Alhamdulillah' that the phone can still ring and I can still hear.

I opened my EYES.. 

How dark it was.

I said 'Alhamdulillah' for that I can still see though it was dark.

I switched on the light.. How bright it was. 

'Alhamdulillah'..

The light hurt my EYE.. 

So I said 'Alhamdulillah' that I can still feel hurt.

I drank the water with bismillah..

'Alhamulillah' for that I can still drink reminding You.

I went to the toilet and took my wudu'.

'Alhamdulillah' that I can still move my hand to take wudu'.

I took my prayer cloth and I said 'Alhamdulillah' for that Allah still lent me His wealth.

I wore them and said 'Alhamdulillah' that I still have the same shape as yesterday, that the cloth can still fit on me.

I took my step to the masjid with every steps saying 'Alhamdulillah' for that I can still take this step

and that I can still walk. Walking to the masjid is truly such a bless.

Reaching the masjid, I said 'Alhamdulillah'.. 

I prayed and I cry.. 

Realizing how much more of His ne'mah that I have not thank him..

For the air that I can still breathe.

For the heart that can are still pump.

For the blood that is still flowing in my vein..

For the receptor under my skin that can still make me aware of the changes.

For the bones that can still moves.

For the family that is still here.

For the others that can't be said..

For the others that I became speechless for them.

I cried more realizing how much more that I should be grateful for.

The fact that I can still say 'Alhamdulillah' now make me realize how much more grateful and thankful I should be for that.

And so, for that, I said Alhamdulillah..

I cried and smile at the same time..

Realizing how blessing I am to be loved by the perfect creator.

Though I am no one special.

I said: "O Allah forgive me for how ungrateful I am..

The tests that you gave me is nothing to be compared to how much mercy you have given me.

Thanks for the test that you gave me..

Thanks for this one eye that you took from me..

Thanks for giving me another chance..

Cause these tests make me realize, make me remember my true reason being here..

These test pull me back from astray, from these fairytale that I have been in.

O my Beloved, thank you for creating weaknesses in me.. cause these weaknesses make me realize how I am nothing more then a human and slave to You.. Nothing more.."

Get ourselves together and look at us.

How grateful we should be for what we have.

For what he gave.

| KISS | Keep It Simple Sunnah | Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal and the baker

Imam Jawzi wrote about the life of Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal in his book Manaqib Al Ahmad

The most famous man of Islam, Imam Ahmad was.
His jenazah was the largest jenazah.
He died and was buried on the same day.
And he has more then 1.3 million people coming to pray jenazah for him.
1.3 million is a big number isn't it?.

Imam Ahmad used to go around seeking knowledge wrapping his face so that others won't recognize him.
A humble man he was.

As someone who eager in study.. He went to Shams.
On that time.. They didn't have facebook so the others far from him did not recognize him.
So one night, he slept in the mosque.
Noticing the presence of a man, the harith (guard ) of the mosque told him "Get out".
Not knowing that he was Imam Ahmad, he repeated "Get out. Masjid closing"
"I don't know where to go."
He repeated, "Get out, ukhruj!"
Imam Ahmad did not get angry or tell him who he was.  Instead he picked his things and went sleeping on the steps.
When the harith came he said, "Move. Go! You can't even sleeps here."
"Where am I to go? I don't know anything here"
This men did not know who he was messing with. He picked Imam Ahmad by his leg and dragged him to the street and dropped him there.
Imam Ahmad was like OKAY?
Then a baker who own a bakery right across the street came to Imam Ahmad and said,
"You can come sleep in my bakery. tonight I'll be doing some work. You can come sleep here. "
So he widen the way for him.
Imam Ahmad observed this man. He was doing his job. Putting the dough together and put them into the oven and so on.
In everything that he did, he did his Tasbih.
Is was not just for a few minutes. It was for the entire night.
Imam Ahmad was shocked. Usually, people get tired just after a few minutes.
So Imam Ahmad asked him, "How long have you been in this situation?"
The baker replied, "What situation?"
"Making Tasbih to Allah"
"My whole life"
Imam Ahmad asked again, " What have you seen in Allah as the result of all this Tasbih you made?"
But he said" I never made dua' to Allah except for what He gave me."
"SubhanAllah, You never asked anything except for what He gave?"
The baker said,"But except for one thing."
"What is it?" Asked Imam Ahmad.
"To have a chance to see Imam Ahmad"
Hearing that, his tears fell. He embrace the baker and said, "SubhanAllah, here is Allah bringing you Imam Ahmad . He brought you Ahmad dragging him by his feet to your bakery. If it wasn't for you, I would have slept peace at the masjid."


MasyaAllah..
A good story.
We don't have to be doing too many big thing yet there is no consistency..
Cause a hadith narrated by Aisyah, The prophet p.b.u.h. said "The most beloved action to Allah is the most consistence deed even if it is small"
That's why |KISS |Keep It Simple Sunnah |
For the baker, we can say, he is just a baker nothing much, he is not a mufti or any Imam ..
People sometimes look down to saomeone like him..
But he did his Tasbih for his whole life.
It is something simple and consistence..
That's the best.
In every Tasbih, he plant a tree in jannah..
Imagine him doing it for as long as he could remember..
How many trees had he plant..?
How many trees had we plant??

May Allah grant us understanding and forgive our sins insyaAllah. :D

true beauty starts from true love...

Flower is beautiful but not for long..

People used to say that beauty lays on what you use..
Well.. If you use the right clothing on the right occasion..
Then you are beautiful..
Following the fashion is part of it..
That's what they said..
I once thought that way too..
But indeed it's not true.

Cause..

The beauty of a human lays on who their heart hold on..
Is it on God ? The Almighty?
Or is it another slave?
Because when he/she give all her heart to God..
He/she is the best man on the earth also in the eye of God..
In the eye of the creator..
In the eye of Allah..
Who hold the stages of beauty of the human..
The more we love Him..
The more we see the beauty...
The more he lent us His beauty..
MasyaAllah.. How beautiful He made this life for us..
He ask for nothing yet He gives everything..
The more we ask, the more He gives..

The true beauty actually lays on your love to Allah..
Cause as we know.. as we always hear..
Love solves everything..
For love, we are blind..
For love, we are deaf ..
For love, we are numb..
We can't even do anything..

When we love Allah the most..
We see nothing other then His beauty..
Nothing.. Nothing else..
For His love.. We do what He ask and see nothing.
We see nothing else but the beauty that He's trying to show us..
For His love.. We do what He ask and are deaf for what others says...
We hear nothing but only His beauty summons .. Calling us to His path..
For His love.. We are numb.. for this beautiful world that He made ...
Only for us, The Khalifah

His words are like love letters that we treasure..
His lover.. are also our lover..(the prophet p.b.u.h.)
His commands are never to be forgotten..
We love nobody but Him..

And then.. We start relise that we live for nobody but him..
We eat for nobody but Him..
We drink for nobody but Him..
We breath for nobody but Him..
We even love only for the sake of Him..

We are blessed for His love..
For His mercy..
We are beautiful for the beauty that He holds..
Only He holds....
Not what we wear..
Neither not what we put on our face..
Nor the number of likes we get on our facebook picture..
Only Allah holds the beauty..
Only He is beautiful..

 Dear Muslimah..
Close ourselves more cause that's what Allah love..
Cause that what He loves to see us in..
Cause that is what true beauty is..

Dear Muslims..
Be the best lover..
Be the best in our everyday..
Be the best in you ibadah..
Be the best in what you do..
Cause we don't live in this life alone..
We live with others who also want to be His lover..
His "The Best"..
Why are we acting as if we are so sure that we'll be part of the jannah..?
Why are we acting as if we are so sure that we 'll be able to see the everlasting beauty of Allah?
To see His beauty is the aim of our life..
What is the point of living to end up gain nothing?
To end up fail to see His beauty..
Such a waste we are..

Don't be afraid when we are doing the right things..
Cause only Allah can judge..
Others might says..
Might look with evil eyes..
Might neglect us..
But Allah don't..
He never.. Did..

Don't be afraid that if we do what He ask..
We'll loose our career ..
We'll have no future..
Cause after all...
We are His slave..
We got nothing.. Nothing at all..

Even the small fish in the ocean don't die for hunger..
How could we?
Why don't we believe in Allah..
Said that we loves Him but there is no trust in HIm..

Tell Him everyday that you love Him..

Is that what love is?
Think about it..
We live in this life with everything..
We got eyes.. mouth.. ear.. nose.. legs .. hands..
We are complete..
We are bless.
Don't look at someone with more.
Look at someone with less..
People in Love can survive with less..
Cause their love is true..
Cause they already see the true beauty..

Learn love and we'll find beauty..

May Allah grant us with understanding ..
And forgive us all..
InsyaAllah.. :)